• ƒadArts™ •

This month have been the worst in my life ever. Due to respect for her i decided not to post on other social sites that might cause hurt to her..i've so much to say but no place/person to actually listen to.

First week of Dec 16..

It was a normal start nothing special as usual i was waiting for her off day to finally be able to see her. Due to certain reasons 3 of her off days i was not included in her plans.

I was so upset though that she left me out of her plans.. only to get to know she ditched me to go karaoke with her friend. Thats where things started getting rough.

I was so upset with what she did till i couldnt eat or sleep. Somehow..she wasnt sorry. I stayed up the whole night hoping that she felt bad and would show up at my doorstep. But she didnt. She started to ignore my texts even though i was so broken.

Eventually i fell sick for a couple of days. But she still nvr showed up. All that while all i needed was her attention.we had dinner on my birthday and we went karaoke..but still somehow.. She started to become more distant.

2nd week..

The most shocking thing happened. She wanted to break off our engagement. That brought me to my knees..tears in my eyes.my whole body was shaking. Eventually i went into depression. I nvr wanted that to happen. No matter how much she hurt me i still wanted her in my life.

I always knew she was the one for me when i proposed to her. We have been happy for 3 years but why did it come down to this. She started avoiding me.. pushing me away. Even though i went into begging, she still wouldnt change her mind.

All she said was she lost her feelings for me. That was something no one would want to hear from the person they love. It really hit me hard right down to the ground..

I tried and tried so much and so hard to tell her how much i love her. But nothing got through. Whatever she did wrong i would sincerely effortlessly forgive her.. but why cant she? When i did no big sin to make her this way..

Every single day i still refuse to give up. Day by day i prayed so hard for god to open up her heart once again. It was too much to take. I lost focus of everything else in this world.

3rd week..

Im still trying..though its hard i keep forcing myself to be strong. No matter how much she said she hated me and how she feels shes better off alone..deep inside i truely believe that a part of her was still for me no matter how small it was.

She blocked me on every possible social media. I know it would seem like i look petty and miserable. I may look like a fool. But i still know how strong my feelings are for her. No matter how much beating i took.. i still believe that its her that i want to be with.

It kills me not to be able to wake up to your morning texts and go to sleep hearing your voice wishing me goodnight. I dont sleep well anymore. Doesn't it kill u to go through the same? Or is there someone else who gets your wishes.. 😔

These days its hardest not being able to communicate with u anymore.. but somehow im happy to get a reply from u..even if its u cursing me or asking me to go away..even such texts become so valuable to me.

You are my strength. You are the reason why i keep looking forward to living day by day. But now the only thing i can look forward to is the gift of being able to live with u again. The strength that u gave me thru our journey is the reason i can't give up yet..

Im still trying...

Im still praying...

Im still waiting...

For the day her heart decides to open her doors again.. forever she is my poyo.. forever she is my mumuu.. forever she is my love.


See my story, Fad d' Lee fadarts™