• ƒadArts™ •

Its a friday. Maybe what they say is correct. Sometime god makes u realise things that we blind ourself from. I came to work and sat down.

For whatsoever reason i thought to myself why all this is happening.. until i came to a realisation that even shocked myself.

All along who am i blaming? Why am i blaming? If i was that good of a person why did it happen? Thats when i felt my eyes open like really open.

All along i was the one who caused this. I was the one to blame for all that has happened. There could be no reason. I always find something else to blame when actually the problem was in fact...

Me.

Us being happy all this while i was living a lie thinking.. hey shes always happy with me. But what abt the things she kept deep inside. All those pain she took in just to protect me..and us.

Feels like a fool once i realised all that. It really did. Who was i kidding. Naturally im an asshole that even i myself didnt knew about.

She had to bear that pain inside for god knows how long. It really sucks once u see yourself in this kind of position. I have been selfish and abnoxious.

But whats the use if i keep blaming myself. Best i could do is repent for the things that i did wrong..

Still i want to fight to save this relationship. It means alot to me and im sure it means alot more to her if she was able to keep the pain inside so long.

I would like to beg for forgiveness...

I would want a second chance to make her really happy..

Happy unlike the 'happy' i thought she was..

I mean happy as in really happy.. to be her backbone..to be her strength..and to be her support.. i dont wanna let go.. i want to hold on to u forever as a better man.

But whatever its is.. i got no rights to be selfish.. i got to respect her this time..
If she reach out her hands to me once more i should never dirty those beautiful hands again. If she smiles to me i should never break that smile again. If she opens up her heart to me i should never abuse that heart again.

If she chose to be free..i should respect her decision. For i was useless..

No matter what i could never blame her i could never hate her.. because i know forever i still love her. In my heart she's already my wife.

Honestly..i want to win her back in my life.

See my story, Fad d' Lee fadarts™